SWEETWATER STILL PUBLISHING COMPANY, NE OKLAHOMA, USA

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As an adoptive or foster parent, have you ever felt in over your head, and about to sink? You're not alone! This Means War was written to lift you up and give you a second wind!

Happy, successful, easy adoptions are a reality! Many times the children are no more or less difficult to parent than average. However, sometimes raising adopted kids is extremely difficult. 

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Fetal Alcohol effects... bonding attachment disorder... self-abusive... violent, destructive, aggressive... fire starter... _______________________________________________________________

Are you really prepared to adopt? Read on as experienced foster, adoptive and even grandparents share stories of success, but also of struggles.

Many entered adoption unprepared and were quickly overwhelmed. We wondered why our parenting methods failed. Why didn't our love heal these children? Why were our previously happy families now falling apart?

We lacked vital information about invisible disabilities; we didn't know how profoundly neglect damages an infant. We didn't realize we'd signed up to be missionaries to miniature heathens - nor that a spiritual enemy opposed us. Perhaps we assumed the natural state of man, apart from negative influence or defective genes, would be an ideal person; in the Garden of Eden... maybe.

Before, during and after you adopt, pray for protection and guidance - and be sure you read This Means War!

"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength...'" (Isaiah 30:15a NIV)

Paperback: 172 pages

Publisher: Sweetwater Still Publishing (October 15, 2010) Language: English ISBN-9780984359943

Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 inches

From the Author

This book is meant to educate, equip, and protect adoptive families so they in turn can protect the homeless children of the world. The book is geared toward parents, but I pray it'll also bring encouragement and understanding to those who were adopted.

If you're a family or individual hoping to do foster care, adopt, or have recently adopted, chances are the licensing agency/adoption agency didn't give you enough information to prepare you for success. This book is a compilation of things I've learned and also stories shared with me by other adoptive families.

Since 1989, I've worked with approximately 50 children. Together, Mike and I were house-parents to about 25 teens and pre-teens in crisis at a long-term shelter. We were foster parents to an additional 25 infants and toddlers in our home in subsequent years. We adopted three special needs children through the foster care system and we have three biological children.

Mike spent over 15 years working with adults with disabilities and we did in-home care for that population as well. In 2001, I founded "Specialmom," a support group for foster and adoptive parents, which is still active today. Through this little family of like-minded parents, I've been encouraged as an adoptive mother and as a believer. I hope you also find a supportive group to hold you up in prayer and encourage you on this quest. In the meantime, I pray this book will prepare you to stand firmly and be used mightily for the Kingdom of God.

Without information and preparation, too many have waltzed in over their heads, fallen, and seen their families damaged. If the focus of this book seems negative, it should offset that you're probably wearing rose-colored glasses. You're most likely already envisioning the joy and success of loving an unloved child. You know it's more blessed to give than to receive. You believe God's version of love never fails. You expect you'll reap a harvest if you continue to do good and do not give up.

I want to prepare you for the fight to come in hopes that you'll persevere long enough to see that harvest.

"You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." (Rev 2:3-4)

If you learn only one thing from this book, let it be this: It's easy to get caught up in the work of a humanitarian and forget your main objective in life is to love God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul. The only way to succeed in life is to remain as a branch connected to the vine [Jesus]. Keep your relationship with God through Jesus as the most important thing -- the ONLY thing that matters -- and He will pour out His spirit on the children... in His time.

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:30-31 NIV)

Spirit-Filled Voice of Brave Practicality, June 13, 2011
Review by S.A.R.E. (click to read this review on another site) http://www.amazon.com/review/R2HQTEFXMTDKZ/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

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MORE REVIEWS BELOW:

This Means War Review June 27, 2011 by Christine Field

This book should be required reading for anyone considering adoption or foster care. Mrs. Ellicot shared many of the insights it took painful experience for us to learn. Like many before us, we went into adoption/foster care believing that love would conquer all.

We have shared many of the same experiences related in the book, and have reached many of the same conclusions expressed by the author:

1. All adopted children have a history and come with emotional baggage. If you aren't familiar with the challenges of adopted children, please educate yourself before they come into your home. You need to be prepared and they need you to be prepared. Read all you can about learning issues and the challenge of emotional attachment for a child, and fully understand the losses they have experienced in their lives, even if the child is adopted at birth.

2. Don't adopt or provide foster care at the expense of your existing children or your marriage. No matter how much you feel you have been called to this work, God never asks you to sacrifice one for the other. Don't do harm where your intent was to do only good.

3. Like all big decisions in life, pray about this. And pray again and again. And read this book together with your spouse.

Thank you for the opportunity to read the information and wisdom in this book.

Christine Field Author, speaker, attorney -- Www.momlifenavigator.com Www.homefieldadvantqge.org

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This Means War Review, January 23, 2011, by Shyla R.:

Cheryl has given us a gift. There are so many books out there that have been written for those contemplating or in the midst of life post-adoption-day. This has been the vital message until now from all the resources available to us.

Our family had three biological children before bringing our adopted daughters home. The question I have most often been asked is, "How is it different raising girls from raising boys?" Initially, I found myself making more similarity comparisons from child to child. Eventually, I realized that the main difference has been one of holding on to problems by way of grudges and pouting. However, the primary thread of difference has been that of Salvation and the transforming work of Christ. It is VERY different raising a child who has not entered into a relationship with Jesus. I pray every day that my girls will come to a day of doing so, and until then I continue to teach them His ways. As a parent, it is important for you to recognize this essential difference in your children's lives, adopted or not.

Every point made in this book is vital to helping us live with our children in understanding. Two were particularly noteworthy for me. First, was the pointing out of the fact that the enemy has already dealt a death blow to the child's original family before we ever came along. As Christians stepping in to bring them into our own families and expose them to the light of Christ, we need to be prepared for retaliation from that same enemy. And secondly, I truly appreciated the marriage of both a common sense and spiritual point of view. As I began dealing with various challenges with my girls, others would ask with very well-meant intentions, "Do you think the problem is because they're adopted? Because of something in their past? Because of personal conflict with you? Because they're girls? Because of personality clashes?" And so on. When it came down to it, I could not always know WHY they were having difficulty or rebellion, and they definitely could not always articulate their reasons - not to mention figure them out for themselves. Ultimately, I needed to make my parenting decisions as one who seeks to turn them in the ways of the Lord. See pg. 87 for help when you get your copy.

Please read this book if you are contemplating foster care or adoption, and by all means share it with others who also are called to enter into this loving path of Spiritual Warfare.

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This Means War Review, July 29, 2010, by Melanie Young, author of Raising Real Men:

Although we have never adopted, when author Cheryl Ellicott offered me a review copy of This Means War: Equipping Christian Families for Fostercare or Adoption, I jumped at the chance! You see, I had read the first chapter of the book as a sample she offered a group of fellow authors. I had seldom read anything so honest and practical about the spiritual warfare a Christian family can face and I was dying to read the rest of the book.

Cheryl Ellicott, an adoptive mother, speaks from experience in her upcoming book, This Means War. Remembering how ill-prepared she was to deal with the very real spiritual warfare she faced in trying to rescue children and give them a family, she reaches out to prospective families and helps them to gird up their spiritual armor and be prepared for the fight of their lives. I don’t know why we should be surprised that Satan doesn’t readily give up the children whose families he has devastated, but many adoptive parents are, according to Cheryl. This book should be an essential part of every Christian family’s preparation.

Full of first person accounts and excellent advice, This Means War is grounded on the Word of God and the recognition that what we do makes a difference in the spiritual realm. (CLICK here to read the rest of the review)

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This Means War Review, May 29, 2010, by Davina Marie White:

This book brought me to tears.

I am a birth mom who had my rights terminated by the state of Washington in 1996. Although I lost a child to the state, and I am not a foster/adopt parent, this book still ministers to me. It allowed me a Christian perspective concerning the issues surrounding my life, my children and the effects upon the families who foster/adopt from situations like mine.

If for some reason you are having to battle for the hearts and souls of someone else’s children, this book is a must read. I believe a family was called to give my son a life; a life I could not give Him… I grasp a hope that my son Houston’s parents may read this book and it will give them hope.

This book is a handbook on enemy tactics that will try to discourage and have us abandon our Faith, our Hope and ultimately our Love. If the Lord reigns in your hearts and homes, this is a battle that can be won daily. Cheryl Ellicott has touched upon the heart of the matter. We must prepare for, recognize and ultimately frustrate the motives of Satan.

This book and everyone touched by it is an unwavering confirmation that the Lord has transformed lives and turned brokenness into beauty. Get this book, if not for yourself, for the person God wants you to give it too. ________________________________________________________________________________________

This Means War Review, May 07, 2010, by Shyla Pope:

This book is an absolute must read for EVERY foster and adoptive parent! It will open your eyes to the true battle that is waged in the spiritual realm when you invite these precious children into your home with the purpose of imparting God's Truth into their lives. This book is fortified with Biblical truth and tons of applicable Scripture. This book also contains some very sound findings on the affects of drugs and alcohol on a child when exposed in the womb. This information is essential in understanding the potential behaviors you will experience with both the adopted and the foster child. I so appreciate the awareness and preparation for the "war" that this book has given me.

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This Means War Review, May 21, 2010, by Patsy Vigil:

I bought 3 books… I think everyone should read it whether they are to adopt or thinking about adopting. Just wonderful thoughts and insight of parenting. The book is appropriate for any parent. I am 3/4 thru it and it just came today. I already told a friend about it. Good luck on your next book.

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