Excerpt from This Means War: Equipping Christian Families for Fostercare or Adoption, by Cheryl Ellicott |
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Chapter 7
Nature, Nurture and Nightmares "... they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. “But the LORD God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’ He answered, ‘I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.’ “And he said, ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?’" (Genesis 3:7b, 8-11 NIV) |
Have you ever done something God commanded you not to do? Have you ever been dreaming and suddenly realized you were naked?
Did you think this was mere coincidence?
I have a homework assignment for you: Ask your friends and relatives if they've had this same dream. Be careful who you ask, of course. If you walk up to a stranger and say, "Have you ever dreamed you were naked?" it could cause problems. I'm curious about what you'll learn. In all my askings, 100% of the people claim they've had this same dream. You know how it goes: You realize you're naked, you panic and spend the rest of the dream trying to get back home to get dressed, or otherwise trying to find something to cover yourself. In my dreams, I never reached home; never found a covering.
We know that all have sinned. Likewise, at some point we all realize we're naked; we try to cover ourselves and hide from God.
Next, I asked born-again Christians (whose lives reflect Christ), "When was the last time you had this dream?" So far every believer remembers having the dream only before they surrendered their lives to Christ; before they were clothed with Jesus' righteousness.
[Jesus speaking] "You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. “I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent." (Revelation 3:17-19 NIV)
If I ever meet a born-again believer who keeps dreaming they’re exposed and panicked about it, I’ll be a little confused and very concerned for them.
In the world of psychology, intelligent people often spend their lives seeking answers (in the most complicated ways) to the simplest questions. If they refuse to accept God's words, they must take the long way around to finding the facts. Such was the long and bumpy road to discovery of how a child develops emotionally, mentally, and in respect to his talents or inclinations, etc. At last, the argument over nature verses nurture has quieted. The truth that both impact the child is almost unanimously accepted now. "Nativism" is currently up for discussion. In the field of psychology, nativism is the view that certain skills or abilities are “native” or “hard-wired” into the brain at birth.
People can save themselves a lot of time and energy if they'll believe the Bible; as you read through history as recorded in the scripture, you see that God creates each of us with certain talents and purposes.
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)
Since both nature and nurture are instrumental in a child's development, many people wonder, when a person exhibits neurotic behaviors, is that because of defective genes or is this the result of a dysfunctional childhood? They wrongly assume that the natural state of man, without any negative influence or defective genetic material, is an ideal person. In the beginning -- in the Garden of Eden -- this was probably true.
We're not in the Garden anymore.
Return to our discussion in Chapter Three: Aside from any good effects from nurturing or any negative from abuse and neglect, what is the natural state of a person at birth? prior to a spiritual rebirth? All people are slaves to their fallen or sin nature. Any "likeness of God" (as we were created in God's likeness) is overshadowed and corrupted by the fallen nature. We're naked; sewing leaves together, and trying to hide from God.
“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” (Galatians 5:16-26 NIV)
The acts of the sinful nature are... sinful. We know from scripture (and life experience) that engaging in and practicing sinful behavior has a devastating and destructive effect on a person's mental and emotional state. Neuroticism and other negative traits are enhanced and encouraged through our exposure and surrender to sinful behavior and urges.
All people are hard-wired with two opposite potentials: If living by the Spirit of God, His beauty and goodness can flow from their lives. If living ruled by their sinful nature, horrible and hurtful things will dominate their minds, rot their emotions, and exhibit through their actions. In light of the opposite potentials that war within each person, what part does nurture play?
Never having experienced spiritual rebirth or life by the Spirit of God, children are born carnal; they're merely physical beings, led by their natural desires and conforming to social influences around them. They’re spiritually asleep, stuck in Romans, Chapter 7... waiting for Chapter Eight. In this realm the effects of nurture (or neglect) are profound.
K INGS AND MONKEYS
In the 13th Century AD, Frederick II, King of Germany, conducted an experiment to determine what language a child would speak if he/she were not spoken to in infancy or the early years.
The King placed a number of babies with foster mothers or nurses. He gave strict orders that no one speak to or play with the babies. His orders were followed, but his experiment failed.
All of the babies died due to a lack of attention.
Later, the Mogul Emperor Akbar tried to determine what religion children would adopt if raised in isolation. His experiment also failed.
All of the children turned out deaf and mute.
To those who know God's nature, these experiments are not only vile, but also absurd; even a monkey could have told them they'd fail. In the end, it was a monkey -- or a group of monkeys -- who gave the hard-hearted world "scientific proof" that babies need love.
During the 1950s and 60s, an American psychologist named Harry Frederick Harlow caused quite a stir with his maternal- separation and social isolation experiments on Rhesus monkeys. Despite serious ethical concerns regarding the cruel experiments, he did demonstrate the importance of tangible affection in social and cognitive development of baby monkeys.
In Mr. Harlow’s beginning research, his interest was sparked when the baby monkeys didn't respond as expected. Taken from their mothers within hours of birth, they received milk from a bottle attached to the cage. Rather than becoming attached to the bottle or nipple (the source of the life-giving milk), they were fixated on the soft cloth diapers that lined the bottom of their cages. They seemed comforted not by the milk, but by cuddling with the soft cloth; this strange bond baffled the scientist and he began further experiments into the phenomenon.
He next presented the monkeys with two surrogate "mothers"; some monkeys had both and some had one or the other. Both “mothers” had a face with eyes; one was made entirely of wire and the other was covered with soft terry cloth material. Sometimes the babies received milk through a hole in the wire "mother," and sometimes through the cloth "mother." Regardless, the baby monkeys clung to the soft terry-cloth mother for comfort and security, whether that mother gave them milk or not. The baby monkeys who were raised with either a wire mother or a cloth mother gained weight at the same rate. However, the monkeys that had only a wire mother had trouble digesting the milk and suffered from diarrhea more often.
Whenever a frightening stimulus was brought into the cage, the monkeys ran to the cloth mother for protection and comfort, no matter which mother provided them with food; this response decreased as the monkeys grew older.
When the monkeys were placed in an unfamiliar room with their cloth mother, they clung to it until they felt secure enough to explore. Once they began to explore, they occasionally returned to the cloth mother for comfort. Monkeys placed in an unfamiliar room without their cloth mothers acted quite differently; they froze in fear and cried, crouched down, or sucked their thumbs. Some monkeys even ran from object to object, apparently searching for the cloth mother, as they cried and screamed. Monkeys placed in this situation with their wire mothers exhibited the same behavior as the monkeys with no mother; without the soft mother to run to, they could not cope but would scream, run in circles, and urinate.
If you spend enough time working with abused children, at some point you'll feel like you've stumbled into Harlow's lab.
Yes, it gets worse. Harlow next did isolation experiments on the baby monkeys. Partial isolation resulted in various abnormalities such as blank staring, repetitive circling in their cages, and self-mutilation. Total isolation experiments produced monkeys that were severely psychologically disturbed. The damage was permanent; he was never able to successfully integrate them into society.
Since these experiments, much more research followed regarding nurturing and development of human children.
Although the full truth will never be found in psychology because of its many false assumptions and reprehensible methods, there is truth in statistics. Studies clearly prove that humans are permanently impacted by their experiences during infancy and the first two years of life. As if naked, wearing leaves and hiding from God weren't bad enough... if abused, neglected, or isolated during this stage, without a miracle, the damage is lasting.
But of course, I believe in miracles.
All rights reserved, by Cheryl Ellicott copyright 2010. Do not copy WANT TO READ THE WHOLE BOOK? Order at www.difficultadoption.com |
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